Hi. I've had quite a lot of trouble with this service learning project. When I got the assignment back in the second week of February I had no scheduling conflicts, but things have changed. I've fallen behind in two of my courses and can barely comprehend the subjects. I also have a job that I've taken more hours of because I need the extra money. To me, this is much more important than the "volunteer work." I simply can't find twelve hours of random time, even if it's spread out, I barely have to time sleep. I'm constantly on the go and tired, my social life is non-existant because of it, no parties or even movie nights for me. It is just not feasable. When you and your partner came in that one night I thought, "you've got to be kidding." I knew then that twelve hours would not be workable, but I thought that there may have been a glimmer of hope that it would be. While I'm barely an adult, I have a lot of responsibilities and my grades need to stay up because of the scholarship.

Today I was stupid and blew off some things to try to go to my first day of FOCUS: Hope. I was extremely uncomfortable with the area driving the "flashy" car that I drive. I couldn't even get out of my car. It was not an area that I felt remotely safe in, and the building wasn't even marked from the street, I circled around twice to find it because I thought "There has to be some sign." I will not be returning to Focus Hope. I may seem sheltered, but I used to live in a similar run-down area, and I have no desire to return even to volunteer.

Don't misinterpret me. I am not against volunteering. Since I was 11 I've been helping on and off a animal rescue organization in my neighbor hood. My junior year in high school I was facilitating adoptions and droping off animals at thier new homes. I organized two seperate fundraisers in my neighborhood and raised over 1000 dollars because of it. I am not new to this. But I do it on my off season, when I'm not in school, because I have too many things to juggle as it is now without letting anything drop and I can not do one more thing. Please e-mail me back with your response. I have also sent a letter to Proffessor Koch over the issue. Thank you for your time.

So when she called last night, when I got home from school at 10, my mother gave me the message, and said to check my e-mail from this woman. No such e-mail ever arrived. So I'm going to make another effort to contact her. I'll talk to my academic advisor tomorrow about my concerns over her incompetence at reading e-mails. How fucking retarded do you have to be to not get that I'm not doing this forced labor because 1) I don't have time to sleep and 2)it's ludicrous to force "volunteer" work (any idiot can see that.)

Is it just me, or is this woman stupid? Now I've got to make another appointment with her. That or talk to the teacher, who doesn't answer my e-mails. I should tie her up and set her on fire for her gross poppycock.

Onto better and brighter stuff. I want pussy. I crave vagina, svelt tight girl stomachs, heaving bosoms, shaved cootch, and long blonde hair. Girls are a hell of a lot more fun to play with than guys. Don't get me wrong, I am utterly in love with Keister. I like him the way he is, cock'n'balls and trimmed pubes and all, but is it so wrong for me to want to add a girl to the mixer? Unfortunately, it's hard these days for even a guy to find a girl, and the number of attractive and nice dispositioned sexually curious girls up for a random three way "gang bang" is minuscule. It's making my skin crawl not being able to have my way with such a princess. I'm glad my babe works hard to satisfy me though, I definately could not have lasted with a single one of my ex-boyfriends when my lesbian cravings got this strong. More cared for thier own sexual pleasure. Guys like that are bastards. You got to work the girl if you're going to spooge w/in a minute. And even if you're not an instantaneous, it's still nice to foreplay a little. Best part of sex. Keep this in mind guys. Well, keep this in mind you guys who are idiotically blinded to this fact. ::thinks dreamily back to the awesome Sunday morning U of M orgasm:: That one was for you God!

The party at the Pirate's Cove Friday night was pretty cool as well. Bunch of people there in thier undies. I had at one point like 8 people who said they were going to go, and then like one by one there was stupidness, until it was just really cool kupiec and keister and me. But I think it was better that way, I was way frustrated with people by then. Like, way frustrated. Two guys were interpretive dancing to 80s punk rock. Duct taped underwear, hot girls hitting on Kupiac, Kupiac hitting on the website's owner. Keister being uncomfortable. Me wanting a drink, then kicking myself for even thinking such hypocritical thoughts. The fox news crew doing upskirt shots, the drunk guys who was too pie-eyed to form words on his alcohol laden tongue.

I was hot. Keister was hot.

While Kupiec was hot in a "Where's Waldo" type manner.

The rest of the pictures and videos from the owner of the site are HERE.

Oh, and if you happen to be a hot sexually adventuresome person of the lady persuasion from the metro detroit area do let me know.

Oh, and this conversation that I had with Dave made me hate his family even more than I did when we were dating.

d.a.v.e.: oh yeah, speaking of your porn, my grandpa brought it up while i was over their house today

d.a.v.e.: apparently my aunt has seen it

Jewel43e: lol

Jewel43e: me and the nakedness

Jewel43e: and how does she know me?

d.a.v.e.: yeah i didn't really think it was funny

Jewel43e: eh, what can you do

d.a.v.e.: you can be all embarassed

d.a.v.e.: that's what i did

Jewel43e: say, "I dumped the whore" and be done with it

d.a.v.e.: i denied knowledge and said i didn't really care anyway

d.a.v.e.: which is true

d.a.v.e.: except for the fact that i know about it

Jewel43e: hahaha

Jewel43e: did your mom hear about it

d.a.v.e: oh yeah

d.a.v.e.: my parents and my sister were both sitting there

Jewel43e: lol

Jewel43e: what'd she say

Jewel43e: and what's your aunt doing looking at porn?!

It pisses me off because it's not something to be embarrassed at all about. The human body is cool and it was meant to be showed off to exploit boys who like the tits. It's not something you bring up in polite company for the sole purpose of embarrassing Dave. It was a stupid thing to bring up on his Grandpa's part. It was stupid for him to be embarrassed, and it was stupid for him to not tell the bastard to shut the hell up. Yeah, he's going to hate me now. But he did already, and I need to vent, because, as stated like five times in this paragraph, this type of stupidity drives me to murder. It has three times already. I don't know. I tried not to act pissed but I was, it's something that was none of thier god damned business and there was no purpose to make a comment except to cause discontent within the Dave family, and you've got to be an asshole to do something like that. That's just my point.