I need something to make me feel better. He hurt me so much but all I want is to be hugged by him again. I want him to love me again. I'm relapsing and have lost 6 lbs in 3 days. I can't eat. I need help and I can't get in to see my psychologist until Thursday. Please please please make it better. I'll go back on medication, I'll go in to see her every week. I just need to stop the hurt. How could I get so close to someone that they were capable of doing this to me? I'm not a boring person. We went to baseball games, concerts, out to eat like 5 days a week. It wasn't all hanging at my house watching tv. I promise I don't try to buy people. I'm a good person. I am. I've changed. Fuck. I miss him.

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